Saturday, December 10, 2011

What do you get when you give an idiot a tablet...?

...a customer review of the Kindle Fire on Amazon.com, that's what.

I'm not sure why, but I'm interested in the Kindle Fire. As you may (or may not) know, I sold my last tablet after 5 weeks and bought a Chromebook (which I still love). My reasons were that I didn't feel the capabilities of the Honeycomb powered tablet would replace my netbook. I didn't like all the fingerprints, didn't like the apps that were primarily written for smartphones, and couldn't imagine trying to do anything that required serious amounts of typing (blog, anyone?) on the Xoom. However, there were many things the Xoom did well. Reading magazines on it was great, watching movies and HD Youtube videos was fantastic, and catching up on news with apps such as Pulse were very enjoyable. I thought it was a great piece of hardware, but at $400 I felt it was too expensive for a device that only met some of my needs and would ultimately end up being a content viewer.

So, even though I decided I'm not a tablet person, I find myself interested in the Kindle Fire. I'm already an Amazon Prime member, so it's a great way to access content that I'm already paying for. I think the smaller form factor would make it more comfortable to hold for watching movies and reading, and (most importantly) I can justify paying $200 for what would be purely an entertainment device. When I tried out a demo unit at Best buy I was pretty impressed with what I saw. The pre-loaded movies looked crisp and played smoothly, the user interface seemed easy to use, and magazines...although a bit small, looked great in full color. I think I may have to pick one up.

Which brings me to the reason I'm writing tonight...and the reason for the harsh title of this post. You see, when I'm interested in purchasing something that costs more than, say, $50, I do my homework. Yes, Martha, I'm a gadget nerd so I actually enjoy the research and reading. The great thing about shopping online is being able to read the customer reviews, and Amazon has gone to great lengths to make customer reviews relevant to the products they sell. They even have a link on each review that tell you whether or not the reviewer actually purchased the product from Amazon.

I am shocked at how many truly idiotic reviews there are for the Kindle Fire on Amazon.com. One reviewer swears that they were told by Amazon that the Kindle Fire was not compatible with their Apple Airport wireless router, and they could never get it to connect. Several others were upset that they didn't know the Fire required a wi-fi connection. And many others complained that the Fire was not suitable for their children, ranging from 3 to 9 years of age, because the one-click content purchasing feature makes it too easy for their children to rack up purchases on their credit cards. There was the guy who was angry that Christmas was ruined for his wife when the Kindle arrived in a box that said Kindle Fire, even though he didn't choose to have it gift wrapped. He was equally angry that Amazon would have the audacity to send a welcome email to the email address of his wife that he supplied at the time of purchase so the device would be ready to work right out of the box. Then there's the one-star rating written by a reviewer who had horrible customer service from Barnes and Noble and swore up and down that she'd never by a Nook Color again. Yes, she gave the Kindle Fire a 1 star rating because she didn't like B&N's product.

I brought up similar issues with complaints about the Chromebook, but these reviews are just jaw-droppers. After reading these, it's clear that I need to invent a tablet that runs circles around the iPad, is tough enough and easy enough to hand to a 3 year old, has to be waterproof, come with free always on 3g/4g/wi-fi connectivity, comes with a free lifetime warranty that covers anything, comes with free music/movies/books/apps, and costs $15. I'm gonna get to work on that, right after I finish riding my pet dragon to the moon.

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